I Can't Sleep
by vrangr
Summary: Lucy can't sleep because her mind's just running with too many thoughts. What worse is that she's been bothered for the whole school year and up to now, even during the holidays, she doesn't feel any better. EdLu. NOT INCEST. sibling fluff.


**Author's Note: **Wrote this in the middle of studying for my finals just a week ago (and if any of you reading this is also reading Borovian Trilogy, don't worry :) I'm writing the fifth chappie.) The lines here aren't exactly the way they were said in the movie. Just take note of that :)

*******

"_We'll go," said Peter with a weak smile as Aslan's gentle gaze fell on him. Edmund jerked his head to his brother and asked most uncertainly, "We will?"_

"_Come on," Peter said encouragingly, "Our time's up."_

_The High King took his sheathed sword in his hand and stared at it solemnly for a moment. They were going home. _Home._ England._

"_Besides," Peter's eyes caught Caspian's, held them and spoke of silent brotherly farewell, "We're not really needed here anymore."_

It was devastating at that time, that Lucy heard her brother say those words. But painful as they may be, it was the truth. Narnia was once more set at peace, with the rightful king to the throne. Caspian, boy prince of Telmar, reigning king of the Narnian Empire, will do well. Lucy tossed in her bed again, letting her mind drift between arriving at Finchley for the holidays and spending former holidays in Narnia, where they had banquets and balls and dances in the woods. Will she ever see that again? Maybe she will. Aslan said she could return together with Edmund; but only Edmund. That was worse than leaving Narnia. Oh, she loved Edmund dearly, and wouldn't complain to have him as her companion in that magical land, but it was that Peter and Susan were never to return. They were too old.

"_But why?" Lucy said breathlessly, pain written across her face._

"_My child," Aslan said in his deep soothing voice, "Your brother and sister have learned what they can from Narnia. But everything has its time, for now they must move on and grow more, choosing which paths they will wish to take."_

"_Don't worry, Lu," Peter smiled, taking her hand, "You may not understand just yet, but it's all right. Someday you'll see too."_

_There was so much love in his eyes then, when Peter took Lucy's sad gaze and offered her consolation in his reassuring one. Edmund had remained deathly silent in the background. Lucy glanced at him for a moment, and smiled; he returned it, thank the Lion. And then it was time to say goodbye, and Lucy saw her brothers approach their friends behind Aslan. _

The memory of it alone sprang tears in Lucy's eyes. Why couldn't they return? Why couldn't she understand yet? Lucy sighed and shifted her position in bed until she could look out the window where snow fell lightly from the London skies._ Snow,_ Lucy thought woefully and she remembered the first time she entered Narnia's beautiful land and met one of her greatest friends, Mr. Tumnus the Faun. Learning of his death, however, broke her heart. It wasn't fair.

"Oh, sweet Aslan!" Lucy told herself and sat up in bed, hugging her knees to her chest, "How am I supposed to get any sleep if all this is still running through my head up till now?"

Lucy was frustrated. She had three siblings, did she not? Peter, she could approach any time of the day, but what use would it be now? He was the one who told her she couldn't understand. And Susan? Well, strangely enough she avoided any chance of conversation about Narnia. Perhaps she did not wish to relive recent memories. But there was still Edmund, seemingly in the same position as herself. Lucy bit her lip. It was well past midnight, and she'd hate to have to wake him up at such an hour. He used to get all bitter when she did that and they were younger. But of course Edmund at that time when they were younger was the time he had turned traitor against his family. Lucy had forgotten this reasoning, however, because when you are all frustrated with yourself at the same time sad and lonely, you can hardly think of reason. She knew one thing, though, she couldn't take it anymore and she didn't want to cry alone.

Slowly and quietly, Lucy opened the door of her brother's bedroom. She crept inside and shut the door quietly behind her. All at once she took in her surroundings and felt a smile creep on her lips. Edmund had unpacked, but not tidied. His schoolbooks were strewn on his desk and his playboxes at the foot of the bed. His luggage, one overturned, lay near his closet. Lucy's mind wandered off to a time in Narnia yet again…

"_Ed, will you _never_ learn?"_

_Lucy stopped short in the hallway, hearing the voice her exasperated sister coming from one of the quarters- Edmund's quarters. Lucy trotted over and looked inside and nearly fell in a fit of giggles. Edmund's desk was graced with maps and charts and quills. Some unused parchment, regrettably, already had ink blotches on it. His study books were all over the place, some on his bed, some on the chairs, and one or two on the floor. Susan stood in the middle of the room, her hands on her hips, while Edmund held up a chart looking rather innocent as if nothing was wrong with the appearance of his 'not-so-kingly' quarters._

"_Seventeen years of age and you don't know how to keep things tidy. What _am_ I to do with you?"_

_Edmund raised his eyebrows, "Well if you loathe it so much, you might as well send me to the dungeons."_

_Susan shot him a glare. Lucy let out a laugh and the two elder siblings looked to the door._

"_Lucy! You're the charismatic one, why don't you coax Edmund on to fixing his quarters? I don't want the servants to take care of something like this, for I'm sure they've never heard of a storm running through a king's bedroom."_

_Edmund glanced at Lucy and rolled his eyes playfully, smirking as he winked. Lucy grinned, "All right, Susan."_

_Susan caught the look her two younger siblings were sharing and laughed, "Oh you both are hopeless."_

Lucy smiled sadly as she picked up a Classical English book by the foot of the bed and placed it on the desk. She crept up to the heap lying in it and made out a dark and messy mop of hair from under the sheets.

"Edmund?" she said softly, surprised at the whimper of her own voice.

Edmund furrowed his brow, and groaned sleepily, shifting positions. Exhausted…exhausted. Then he heard his name again, a bit louder this time. Squinting his eyes open, he was slightly startled to see Lucy peering carefully into his face, her expression looking very upset.

"Lucy?" he whispered hoarsely. Lucy pouted and instantly buried her little head in his chest. Edmund hushed her quietly, "What's the matter, Lu?"

"I don't know," came the muffled reply. Edmund sat up and helped his sister beside him, sharing his blanket, "Then start by telling me how you feel."

Lucy faced him and looked up, "Sad. Terribly sad."

"You've been thinking of _home,_ haven't you?"

The younger nodded and began talking at once, "I do miss Narnia, Ed. I truly do! Why can't Peter and Susan go back with us? And when we do return, Ed, will that be our last time too?"

Edmund shook his head, both for trying rid of the last remnants of sleep, and in reply. "I don't know," was what he said. The two sat in silence for a moment and Lucy said again, softer this time, "Do you remember how we would spend Christmas at Cair?"

Edmund smiled, "Of course I do. You'd always save the first dance for Peter, the second for me, and the third for Mr. Tumnus."

Lucy smiled and hugged her brother, "Oh, Edmund."

"Here, my Valiant queen," Edmund whispered into her hair, "Be comforted that someday we shall share such times again."

"How can you be so sure?"

Edmund laughed quietly, "Ye of little faith," he teased. Lucy hugged him even tighter, "When we do, my king," she said, "Will the first dance be mine?"

"And all others you wish," Edmund said, kissing Lucy softly on the forehead. Lucy smiled as she felt her brother's warm breath on her hair, and hearing the steady beat of his heart as she laid her head on his chest. Silence, and the siblings offered each other consolation and space for individual thoughts. After much time, and Lucy thought her brother had already fallen asleep, she asked quietly, "Edmund?"

A hum came in reply and a shift of his head on hers. Lucy pulled away, "Were you ever mad at me before? I mean after we returned from the wardrobe the first time after all in Narnia?"

Edmund's eyes widened slightly, "What do you mean, Lu?"

Lucy bit her lip, "You won't laugh?"

Edmund was amused at that, but he knew that if he did anything even as small as a smirk, Lucy wouldn't like it. Instead, he nodded, "Pray tell, my queen."

Lucy smiled. Edmund had been calling her a queen, and between the Pevensie siblings, it had always meant that they believed strongly in returning to their rightful thrones. "It was my fault, wasn't it?"

Edmund cocked his head to one side, "What fault?"

Lucy's face crumpled slightly, and indication she was about to cry, "If I hadn't been so curious and adventurous I wouldn't have led us through the wardrobe taking us back to England."

Edmund at first could find nothing to say as he took Lucy warmly in his arms and rocked her back and forth, hushing her gently as he had seen his father do before, "Lu," he said, "If you hadn't been so curious and adventurous in the first place, we would never have gotten through the wardrobe and into Narnia at all."

Lucy's sobs died down and Edmund knew she was pondering over his words. He continued gently, speaking softly in her ear, "I was never mad at you after Narnia, my dearest queen, for without you, I would never have changed myself as a traitor. I am however, rather grateful that you took me there, giving me more than what I can repay you for being traitor and…well, an absolute prig."

Lucy sniffled as she listened to her brother. He meant all this? Did he really?

"You Lucy, if not the only one, between Pete and Su have changed me so much, and you don't seem to know that yet."

Lucy gasped, not out of shock, but out of sheer delight, "Oh, Edmund, Edmund!" she said and hugged him again, "My Just king, knight, and duke," she said, mentioning all of Edmund's titles, "Never will I forget your words."

Edmund smirked and pressed his lips gently in Lucy's hair for a long moment. Yet again they fell into silence and after a few minutes, Lucy let out her little yawn. Edmund smiled, "Tired?"

Lucy hummed softly, already feeling the invitation of sleep as her eyes began to seem very heavy indeed. She closed them and remained in her brother's arms, warm and comforted. Then felt herself being laid down beneath the sheets and her head being stroked and made comfortable on a pillow. Then a weight beside her shifted and she knew Edmund had lay down too. Lucy heard him heave a sigh, and then felt sorry she had woken him up. Willing herself to open her eyes she found her brother curled up, facing her and already asleep, his breathing deep and even. Lucy smiled and kissed Edmund's forehead, whispering, "My king, sleep well tonight."

Edmund only hummed shortly, hardly awake now.

_And from afar as I watch my children finally lie down to rest from a tiring day, I smile and purr in every one's ear, making sure that in their hearts they will hear my message: Son, daughter, soon you will see my Country, and there you shall despair no more. It will be up to you, however to find your way Home to that Country._

_And I look unto my Son, the one I had made second king, the one I had saved from his sin and I say, 'You have come a long way. May your love grow even greater, that you may find it in others as well.'_

_~Aslan, the King above all High Kings_

_Lion of Narnia_

***

**Author's Note: **Thanks for reading! :) I'll be posting a separate oneshot called _Chocolate Pops_ soon :) keep an eye out! ;)


End file.
